The Internet Escort’s Handbook

Safe, Sane, Successful Escort Work is Possible!

Natural-looking French Manicure — DIY

After I quit stripping, I stopped polishing my nails (or wearing fakes). I polished my nails as a teen and it was a never-ending cycle of smudging the polish before it dried or having perfect polish chip within a day. I like the natural-nail look and found a buffing paste that really made my nails shine. Of course, they stopped making it within a couple years of my discovery. I started using a white nail pencil under my nails but without a shine on top, it wasn’t that impressive. I still wanted shiny nails, but natural. Polish wasn’t the answer because I wasn’t kind to it (and paying for a professional polish was a waste of money). I’m not someone who likes acrylics or the new gel manicures. And I hate the very strippery look of the typical French manicure you get in a salon. I like to let my nails breathe. They’re strong and healthy — I don’t need to ruin them with chemicals. I wanted an elegant solution. P-Shine About four years ago, I griped about my nail woes to a girlfriend and surprisingly, she had the answer. P-Shine! It’s a classic buffing kit for fingers and toes. Yes, this means there are 2-4 steps (depending on your needs). Yes, they include detailed instructions. Yes, it takes about an hour to do your hands start to finish if you have to do every step. Be prepared to have little crumbles of the buffing clay and polishing powder all over the place when you’re done. But the mega-shine is so worth it. It looks like you’ve applied clear...

Free Makeup Lessons

I love makeup. I’ve been fascinated since I was young. Part of it is my desire to be a painter (desire, but not the skill), part of it is simply the fun of dressing up. I’ve learned a lot from beauty magazines and personal experimentation. I’ve read every makeup book I’ve ever been able to get my hands on. Still, something has always been lacking. When I’ve been made up by professionals the lack is obvious. Then two things happened. Samantha Chapman On a recent beauty-book kick, I was in Ulta looking for some inexpensive new brushes to try. I came across Samantha Chapman’s brushes and bought two. Back home and online, I went to her website and watched several of her video tutorials. I’ve bought a couple more of her brushes and watch her tutorials regularly. She’s personable and her instructions are easy to follow. I like her brushes because they’re easy to use and her techniques are made for people who don’t like or can’t create fine, delicate lines of makeup. Most of her tutorials focus on simple looks that one would use in everyday life. It’s easy to get the same results she does because her brushes truly do what she claims they do. They’re cruelty-free synthetics, which makes them easy to wash. They’re shaped so they easily fit in the hand. They’re cheap for quality makeup brushes. Wayne Goss Shortly after discovering Chapman, I was discussing my makeup journey (or lack of it) with LaDonna Stein and she suggested that I look at Wayne Goss’s videos. I now watch him regularly as well. He’s extremely...

My First-Ever Appointment Part 2 of 2

Read Part 1 in which I make the decision to jump from stripping to giving escort work a try. Arriving My afternoon arrival in DC was off to a bad start. My credit card expired on that day and the rental car company wouldn’t take a cash deposit. Being from Texas and not used to traveling, I was wary of the cost of taxis, but had no choice. I ran into the same problems when checking into the hotel, but they accepted cash. I was unable to get a hold of my friend and had no idea if she was in DC as promised. I wasn’t getting any calls from my Eros ad (I only had a phone number posted, no e-mail was set up) and could not visually confirm if my ad was up since I didn’t have a laptop. I was in panic mode. My friend came through. She was down the hall and around the corner from my room. She was simply very busy. She took a break and welcomed me while she ate dinner. We had no way of checking Eros but she went over screening and phone etiquette with me again. It helped calm me down. My phone rang and it was a DC area code! I was so excited and nervous. I briefly talked to this man and he said he’d call later. I didn’t care; I’d made it through my first call and knew my ad was up. Now, of course, I worried it would be the only call I’d get all night. I had used up what I’d made at the...

Transitioning From Stripper to Escort Part 1 of 2

This is a two-part series inspired by a couple conversations with strippers who want to try escort work. What led me, a stripper, to try escort work? I’ve been interested in all forms of sex work since a very young age. Lacking enough confidence and information to try working as an independent escort, I turned to stripping my last year in college. Stripping is a major confidence boost for some girls; it wasn’t for me. After becoming completely burned out, I had two options: start at the bottom in my chosen field or try escort work – something I was still curious about. Since I had a friend who was an escort and she agreed to give me advice, I went for it. I knew that if I didn’t try it now, I would never have the courage to try it later in life. And besides, if it didn’t work out, only a handful of people would ever know. It would be a lesson learned. So I began researching as much as I could in late 2001. There weren’t really any recent escort books at that time, but I spent a lot of time reading ASPD forums and was horrified. My mentor laughed and told me it was nothing like what was on the boards. She was right. It wasn’t. A Trial Weekend When I finally decided to give it a go, she helped me plan for a weekend trip. We both understood it was a trial-run. She told me to try it in a city far from where I lived. I picked Washington, DC – where she was...

Is escort work a “real” job?

“…you’re a dreamer and can’t handle a real job.” (From an e-mail I once received.) I never sent a reply and I blocked his e-mail address, but that strange condemnation has always stuck in my head. (I’ve never seen anything wrong with being a dreamer. After all, we’re the idea people in this world.) He was one of many, many men who look at escorts, desire us, and can’t afford us. They get jealous; imagining the easy life we lead of having horny men just like them falling all over their feet just to hand us lots of cash. They don’t see this as a “real” job. Whatever a “real job” is supposed to be. I wonder if that guy thought he had a real job.* Ever read Dilbert? Do you think he had a real job? Something definable, tangible; that he did something to produce results? What about trash collectors or migrant farm workers? I think they have very real jobs. I’m sure a lot of times they wish their jobs weren’t so damn real. How real is it if you sit behind a desk all day, typing away, answering pointless e-mails, never quite sure of what you’re supposed to do and what exactly it is that your coworkers do? How real is it if you never see any result from the piles of paper you produce, other than a paycheck? For instance, a lot of people think strippers are strippers because they can’t get work anywhere else. Stripping isn’t rocket science and neither is escort work, but you must know what you’re doing or you will fail...

Lili Von Shtupp

This has nothing to with anything here, and yet… Madeline Kahn has the funniest sex worker role I’ve ever seen in a movie. Her deliberately awful performance as Lili Von Shtupp in Blazing Saddles is great for a laugh without making fun of sex workers. It’s even richer if you’re feeling a little burned out. You can see her memorably terrible singing on YouTube. Even better — sit down, make some popcorn and enjoy the whole movie. She’s in most of...

Researching Escorts’ Boundaries

I received a research request from a student in Illinois. She seems very nice and is researching a topic that I think is valuable, but one that doesn’t seem to be have been deeply studied academically. For details about the researcher and the study, continue reading. Her name is Geri (Geraldine) Hendrix and you can find a quick profile of her here. I’m passing along information about her and her research to anyone who might be interested. She does not know where I’m posting her request. Please contact her directly with any questions: gera133@siu.edu Yes, I’m going to interview with her, even though I’m retired (she’s making an exception!). In her own words: I am a sociology graduate student at Southern Illinois University Carbondale and am looking for volunteers to participate in a study regarding the lives and work experiences of escorts. To be an eligible participant you must currently work as an escort and be 18 years or older. I would like to include your insights in my research on escorts and only need about hour of your time. My research is an exploration of escorts and boundary work. My research question is “what types of boundaries do escorts draw to differentiate themselves from others?” More specifically, I want to explore four dimensions of boundary work: (1) boundaries between escorts and clients, (2) boundaries between escorts and other escorts, (3) boundaries between escorts and non-escorts, and (4) legal and gender boundaries negotiated by escorts. From her consent form: The purpose of this study is to examine how escorts view their own lives and construct their identity. Particular attention...

A Client’s Perspective: “The Unbearable Imbalance of To and Fro’…”

In case you have ever wondered, as I have, what goes through your client’s head just before and just after your appointment, here’s a lyrical answer. This gentleman was never a client of mine but contacted me because of my book. He sent me this post simply to share some of his feelings. With his permission, I’ve posted the link for a wider audience to enjoy. I never gave much thought to the moments before an appointment, usually because I was mentally juggling a number of preparatory tasks myself. If I was seeing a returning client, I usually was reviewing my mental file on him and anticipating the moment. New clients always had more of an impromptu-theatre feeling. But my thoughts after a client left were often like the ones he described. Never did a client leave without making some lingering impression. And I’m guessing I did the same for him. This is a business about human connection and interaction. We leave traces of memory with each other whether we want to or...