Field Testing: Having Sex on Your Period
July 19, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Warning: if you’re put off by very frank discussion of the female body and its functions, you should probably stop reading right now. I’m going to talk about menstrual cycles in a non-titillating manner.
In Book 1 I outline several methods of dealing with your period while working. I hadn’t tried them all when I wrote that section. Since then, I have. I’ve been off birth control pills for the past year and my periods have resumed their normal, very-heavy tendencies. Besides not working on my heavy days, I’ve tried some different methods. I have to. As always, being on my period guarantees lots of appointment-requests. I still haven’t figured out why that happens.
Obviously this post is for those who aren’t taking birth control that completely stops menstruation.
Instead Cups
I still love my Instead Cups. The offer the best options. For light days, they’re perfect on their own. On heavy days I still put something absorbent inside the cup before inserting them. A low-to-medium absorbency tampon can work, or a small, natural sea sponge. It’s very important to remember you’re using backup and make sure you remove it when you remove the cup. Leaving it inside will cause an infection.
If you’re having sex with someone well-endowed, they could cause the cup to leak, with or without the absorbent materials inside. Not much you can do about that. Know your body, know your clients and try to work around your period if you and/or your clients really don’t want leakage. I discuss using the cups a bit more in Book 1.
Natural Sea Sponges
The have been used as tampons for a very long time. You can buy pre-sized ones online. Or you can try to find reasonably-sized and priced sponges in a store, usually a “healthy” or “green” store or the makeup section of a many other stores. Depending on where you live, it might just be easier to purchase them online.
These are very good instructions for cleaning your sponge. After washing my hands, I rinsed the sea sponge with very warm water, cleaned with dish soap, rinsed and rinsed, soaked it overnight in pure white vinegar, rinsed some more and then microwaved it on a clean plate for 3-4 minutes. It needed to be almost bone-dry but not burning!
Advice from experience: do not microwave dry sponges. They will burn up, turn black and stink very badly. I killed my favorite sponge this way.
If you aren’t going to use your sea sponge right away, put in in a clean sealed container. A plastic baggie or glass jar works. When you’re ready to use it, wash your hands, rinse the sponge thoroughly and microwave on a clean plate again. That first cleaning to make sure you’re killing any leftover bacteria from the sea. This cleaning might seem obsessive to you, but I don’t think anything you put inside your body can be too clean.
Even if you plan on using it with an Instead Cup, it’s a good idea to sew a thread or piece of plastic dental tape (a type of floss) through the middle of it while it’s still dry. Make sure your needle is sterilized with alcohol and just make a simple loop. It’s good if it’s a big loop. Knot the end well and cut any excess. Now you have something your fingers can grab if it goes a bit beyond your reach.
To use, first rinse it under warm/body temperature tap water until it swells and is completely soft again. Squeeze out the excess water. It should still be soft and fluffy. Fold it up so it resembles a tampon, maybe put some KY Jelly on the end to make it easier, and gently push it in. It’s like putting in a tampon with your fingers, but I find sea sponges to be much softer and gentler.
The sea sponge is rather absorbent, but if you have sex with just a sea sponge, expect it to get shoved quite far back in your vaginal canal. This makes retrieving it hard to do by yourself because your hand will be bent at a bad angle. If you can find your loop of string and get it wrapped around your finger, you can push down on it and pull out. More effort than a tampon requires but the same concept. Or do what a friend of mine does — “squat and grunt.” It really does work.
I find that sea sponges can get very slippery with blood and are often hard to grasp with your fingers canted at that angle. A trusted friend/partner who doesn’t mind fishing it out for you can make life easier.
Once removed, cut your thread out and throw the thread away because it will harbor bacteria. Rinse the sponge well under cold, cold water until it’s clean. Vinegar-soak, then microwave again, putting it back in its container until next time. If you need to reuse immediately, I highly recommend going through the whole microwave/threading process again. Cold water alone will not kill any germs, nor do you want to give yourself Toxic Shock Syndrome.
Soft Tampons
I’ve been wanting to try these for years. Europe has a couple of brands. I’m not sure why the US doesn’t carry any. Soft tampons are basically an artificial sponge, a lot like the contraceptive sponge from several years ago. Some of these sponges have a built-in loop to grab, others have a built-in finger-hole.
They’re simliar to sea sponges, minus all the maintenance. I recently bought and used my first soft tampons and love them.
The Beppy Wet tampon comes pre-moistened with sterile saline solution (the liquid that contact lens wearers store their lenses in). If you buy dry sponges you have to get them wet with water. I think it’s easier to just buy the wet ones. They’re a little rough and not as soft as a sea sponge but they still glide in easier than a tampon. They’re quite large – you fold them up, add a dab of KY Jelly to the end and push in. Done.
Because of their slightly rough surface, they’re easier for your fingers to grab when you’re ready to remove. The finger-hole helps a lot too. They don’t become as slippery as sea sponges either. Because of their size and springiness, it’s hard for them to get stuck so far in you that you can’t feel them and wiggle them down with your fingers. The only downside to their texture is that squatting and grunting doesn’t work very well because they’re not as slippery as sea sponges – they grip your vaginal walls better.
They don’t absorb blood so much as block your cervix and prevent blood from coming out. Flat, round, latex makeup sponges have the same effect. So when you remove a soft tampon, expect some amount of mess. Not as much as an Instead Cup, but more than an absorbent sea sponge.
Toss in the garbage and do whatever else you need to do.
FYI, they aren’t “green.”
Decisions
It’s your body and you know how it works best. I can’t make any choices for you, nor do I want to. Please experiment safely. During your period your cervix is open and bacteria can easily enter your uterus (which is a sterile environment), potentially causing a life-threatening infection. Don’t be casual about what you do to your body.
If you discover a new method that works well, tell me! Post it on your blog and I’ll add a link here. Women always want to know how to have sex on their periods, not just escorts.
STD Awareness Month
April 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment
April is STD Awareness Month (this post is a little late).
In honor, here’s a video to learn how to put a condom on with your mouth.
Fight Syphilis With Marriage
December 19, 2007 | Leave a Comment
It’s not a comforting thought or one that medical science would agree with. Apparently Hitler believed it, enough that it became one of his plans. He also felt marriage would help fight prostitution. Little does he know!
Yet another example of how power-crazed rulers don’t understand sex or humanity. (Hitler was off the deep end more than most, but Bush has gotten into the marriage game too, though for different reasons than Hitler.)
The Odds of Sexually-Transmitted Infections
May 21, 2007 | Leave a Comment
According to Self, August 2006 (page 190), your lifetime chance of contracting a sexually-transmitted disease* is greater than one in two.
The article discussed condom usage and herpes (which condoms don’t always protect against). It did not discuss what the writer defined as an STD. For example, many health-care professionals consider bacterial vaginosis to be an STD because only sexually active women get it. However, it’s not a strictly a disease but an imbalance in your vagina brought on by sexual activity.
The article’s statistic is alarming. I looked online to try and find confirmation of it and could not, yet the various articles I did find were not much more encouraging. In general, it seems that if you indulge in sexually-risky activity, your chances of contracting an STD are better than your chances of winning a hand in a Vegas casino.
The best way not to become a statistic is to reduce your risks as much as possible – strict condom usage, no intravenous-drug use, minimal number of sexual partners, no other body-fluid swapping. If you decide to go without condoms for all sexual activities, your likely odds are stated above. Always using condoms for sexual activity lowers your risks significantly. (This article did not specify if regular condom usage would alter the reported statistic, but I’m guessing it would.)
I’m not trying to gloom and doom you. Not at all. Sex is risky. Until it isn’t, the best way to reduce risk is by proper and consistent condom usage. It’s a simple concept that easily improves everyone’s overall quality of life and reduces worry.
There are many women who’ve worked in the adult industry and have never had an STD. Condoms work.
*I prefer the term infection because not everything that is sexually-transmitted is strictly a disease, but this article used the term “disease.”
Link Between Oral Sex and Oral Cancer
May 14, 2007 | Leave a Comment
It stands to reason that if the human papillomavirus (HPV) can cause cervical cancer, it could cause cancer in other parts of the body exposed to the virus. Researchers tested throat cancer patients for evidence of the virus and found it.
The most direct way of becoming infected with HPV is through unprotected sex; in this case, unprotected oral sex is the problem. A Time article summarizes the findings published in the New England Journal of Medicine.
The men and women study participants1 completed a survey about their sexual history and those with six or more oral sex partners were 32 times more likely to have throat cancer. The other two top risk factors, smoking and alcohol, don’t increase the risk factor by more than three.
The risk of unprotected oral sex is increasing. The number of people in their 30s and 40s with throat cancer has noticeably risen over the past decade, according to a doctor interviewed in the Time article.
No More Periods
April 4, 2007 | Leave a Comment
It is fairly common knowledge that one can continuously use active birth control pills in order to stop having periods (under the supervision of a gynecologist). Then Seasonale came along, which shortened the menstrual cycle down to four planned periods a year. Now a new pill, Lybrel, promises to do away with periods all together.
If You Don’t Believe in Safer Sex (The Gum Game)
February 26, 2007 | Leave a Comment
Through Ms. Naughty’s blog, I found an article about a unique method used to teach the risks of sex. (I’m not interested in the debate over using this method in high school classrooms.)
My version of the game is simple and an excellent mental exercise. If you think safer sex guidelines are too inhibiting, try this:
Mentally picture all of your clients and the escorts they’ve seen in a room with you. A random person puts a piece of gum in their mouth, chews it for a few seconds, then hands it the next person. Do you think your clients would be eager to share that piece of gum with each other? After it’s been around the room, would you put it in your mouth and chew it?
If this grosses you out, then safer sex is for you. I cover a lot of guidelines in Book 1: The Foundation and have more references listed in the Resources.
If this doesn’t bother you; recognize that this exercise, when done in a classroom, scared school administrators so badly they wanted to test the participating teenagers for various STDs, mono and other diseases. Just from a piece of gum. It wasn’t like the kids were asked to give uncovered blowjobs, swallow, or have unprotected sex.
3 Quick Tips on Medical Testing
January 30, 2007 | Leave a Comment
This is a short, but important bit about three simple ways to protect your health when getting lab work/testing done. Speaking up or doing research is the best way you can ensure you receive quality health care.
This information is from a sidebar article in some women’s magazine (I ripped out the page months ago but it has no publisher info on it). I’m repeating the information here. I don’t intend to plagiarize; if I could find this bit online I’d just link to it.
- When getting any test done, don’t assume the lab has your doctor’s stamp of approval – she may be sending it to the lab your insurance provider requires. Ask her if she feels the lab is reliable; if she doesn’t, consider having your test sent elsewhere – especially if she is concerned about a particular symptom or condition.
- To find out if a lab has had severe or repeated problems, go to http://www.cms.hhs.gov/clia/.
- To get the best breast ultrasound, use facilities accredited by the American College of Radiology (www.acr.org). Also ask your doctor if the practitioner who will read your ultrasound is trained in breast imaging.
Actually, #3 good advice for any test – find out if the person examining your specimen or scan is experienced and reads that type of test regularly.
Girls, bug your doctors with your questions. In modern American medicine, the squeaky wheel gets taken care of.
World AIDS Day
November 30, 2006 | Leave a Comment
December 1 is World AIDS Day. It’s not a moment to celebrate, but rather a moment for reflection.
For years I thought the focus on AIDS was excessive. I began researching right before I became an escort and even more so during the writing of Book 1: The Foundation. The disease is terrible and worth every bit of attention it brings. At the moment, the only real weapons we have are prevention and education.
Women and AIDS
Because of the sexual physiology of women, we’re always at a higher risk for sexually-transmitted HIV/AIDS than men during heterosexual sex. Although there are great new medicines that allow someone with AIDS to live a longer, more productive life; not everyone has access to these drugs. Not getting becoming infected is better than having to worry about your health-care access.
An article on AIDS in the December 2006 Glamour (page 166) reports that experts estimate 250,000 people in the U.S. currently have AIDS but don’t know it [italics mine]. Women’s rate of infection is rising and make up 27 percent of new infections in the U.S. (infection rates differ from country to country).
U.S. Escorts and AIDS
Although the article didn’t discuss the issue of sex work, it’s highly probably that there are some escorts who are infected and don’t know it. A working escort with AIDS faces serious legal issues, puts all her sexual partners at risk, and jeopardizes her own future.
Getting tested is the only way to know for sure what’s going on in your body. After testing comes education. Learning about the real risks and real effects of the disease will bring about the awareness that can save your life.
Simple Prevention
Condoms, condoms, condoms. I can’t say it enough. Also, don’t mix bodily fluids and don’t use share needles of any kind. But for most women in most situations, using condoms is the key.
Using condoms for oral sex is recommended as well. The HIV/AIDS virus can enter sores or cuts in the mouth which gives it direct access to your bloodstream. And don’t forget that HIV/AIDS is not the only sexually-transmitted infection out there. Plenty of other diseases are easily transmitted through oral sex. Thought most of them can be cured, they deplete your immune system which could leave you more susceptible to HIV/AIDS infection if you encounter the virus.
Condoms. They work.
Getting Tested
There are a number of options for getting tested, which you can read about here. If you’re in the L.A. area, you could always use the AIM HealthCare Clinic. Or any Planned Parenthood offers testing. Your local gay community will often have clinics as well.
Many states are phasing out totally anonymous testing so you may want to ask questions before you test just to make sure of what’s happening to your information (this is good advice for any medical situation).
Some tests still take a few days or even a couple weeks for results. There’s a new test which is supposed to give results in under an hour. Make sure to ask what test you will receive.
Even if you’re worried about your result, you have a much better chance of successfully living with AIDS if you discover the disease sooner than later. Your sexual partners and your future self will thank you.
For More Reading
UNAIDS.org is where I’ve done a lot of my HIV/AIDS research. The big picture, the world of AIDS, is presented on this site and it’s heartbreaking. The site also contains a lot of medical research and studies.
The CDC is a good basic site to learn about all sorts of diseases. It currently has a special page for World AIDS Day, so take a look.
Avert.org is another, high-level site devoted to HIV/AIDS. It also has a special World AIDS Day page, with pictures of victims of AIDS. It’s well worth taking a few minutes to read.
I’m not an AIDS activist…
I’m just someone whose eyes have been opened.
This is not to say that I renounce my former work as an escort. I don’t. Nor do I believe the job is too risky for other women. I don’t.
I believe that too many women, escorts and non-escorts, are taking risks out of ignorance. Not everyone will beat the odds. I hate to think a lack of knowledge led to the destruction of a life in a country where there’s free and easy access to knowledge all around us.
I valued my future when I worked as an escort. I took the precautions to make sure I’d reach my future. And I’m here.
I want every other escort to be able to say the same.
More on the HPV Vaccine
October 23, 2006 | Leave a Comment
The November 2006 issue of Glamour (page 114) has a short Q&A about the newly-released HPV vaccine, the vaccine that will prevent HPV-caused cervical cancer. I’ve summarized it here since I could not find the entire article online (I feel this is important information to be shared).
Two basic facts about HPV
About the vaccine
According to Glamour, the current vaccine blocks the two strains that cause the majority of cervical cancer, along with two strains that cause genital warts. A vaccine scheduled for approval in 2007 could offer better cancer protection but no protection against warts.
The vaccine is recommended for women ages 11-26. Since the idea of the vaccine is prevention (it is not a cure), younger women who may not have been exposed to the virus will benefit most. Sexually active women in their late 20s are assumed to have been exposed to the virus already, in which case prevention by proper condom usage and detection through regular Pap smears are recommended. But feel free to ask your doctor about the vaccine even if you’re 27 or older. There are exceptions to every rule.
Even if you get the vaccine, this doesn’t mean you can skip condom usage or regular Pap smears. The vaccine protects against the two strains of HPV that cause 70% of cervical cancer, not all cervical cancer. Detection is still the best tool to surviving this very deadly cancer.
Health insurance will probably cover your costs if you’re under 27. If you’re not covered by your insurance, expect to pay around $360 for the series of three shots.
Help other women get vaccinated
Cervical cancer (not breast cancer) is the number-one deadliest cancer for women in developing countries because they don’t have access to health services like regular Pap smears (and Pap smears are the only way of detecting this particular cancer as it develops). Since countless women could be saved by the new vaccine, you can make a donation to help. PATH.org is an international health organization that will put your funds to good use. Read about their HPV vaccine program here.
