The Internet Escort’s Handbook

Safe, Sane, Successful Escort Work is Possible!

Escort Emergency Start-Up Kit

A reader asked me a very good question, one that I’ve confronted more than once in my own life: What if one is ready to get started as an Internet escort now and is on a budget that’s not getting any larger as the days go by? What can one do to safely and successfully launch a positive debut? I know everyone thinks the answer is to simply put an ad on CraigsList or BackPage. That might work for some, but others want to get started with a better, more-professional image, even if they can’t afford a custom-designed website right now. Fake it till you make it — yes, it can be done. Please understand, I’m not giving you advice as I am not living your life with your concerns. But I am sharing cost-effective methods I’ve used with success. As you can imagine, one or two successful appointments can feed your new business needs, pay the rent and relieve financial anxiety. Things You Need anywhere from $20-$500 for a budget a quality digital camera (ideally with a self-timer), a “bendy” tripod ($15) and/or a trusted friend a good mirror locations, props, clothes for doing your photos Internet access and time to do research transportation a TracFone both of my books: 1 and 2 The Website One of the big concerns is getting a website. This helps you present a professional appearance and gives you more room to express yourself than an online ad. Websites can be done extremely cheaply, you don’t even have to buy a domain name. WordPress is sex worker-friendly and a well-regarded free blogging site....

High-End Escort Work — Part 2 of 2

Read Part 1 where I discuss the difference between expensive and high-end escorts. What does it take to become high-end? Making the jump from average escort to high-end is also fairly easy, with one big caveat: you have to be able to back up everything you say. If you claim you’re well-traveled then your passport had better be the envy of your friends. If you claim to have a degree in art history, then you need to start learning about art and art history (as well as becoming a regular at your local museums). If you can’t remember the difference between aspirin and Advil, don’t pretend to be in medicine or claim to be a chemistry major. Why is this so important? As a high-end companion, minimum appointments are much longer than an hour and much of that time is spent in conversation. Generally, the more a man spends, the more brains he expects in his companion. You really need to know what you’re talking about – on whatever subject you choose – because the clients who can afford you are bright, educated and successful. You need to know a wide range of topics, from the serious to pop culture. Keeping up with current events is a must, as is keeping pace with your fields of interest. You don’t have to turn into a trivia master; usually having an understanding of the main issues on a given topic is enough. Form your own thoughts and opinions about these issues and share them. Talk about your passions or hobbies. Share experiences. And most of all — learn to ask questions...

Dating a Client and Retiring for Love

One Escort’s Journey Through a Minefield! This is a speech I gave at the 2007 Desiree Alliance convention. In my series, Book #4 will discuss relationships and retirement. Retirement is a big issue for me. When I retired, I discovered that I could find no information on retiring. No one else had written or was blogging about it. Since every escort will eventually retire, it needs to be discussed. This presentation is based on my casual observations and own experiences. I haven’t conducted any formal interviews on retirement, nor do I know much about the retirement issues of sex workers other than female escorts. Some of the issues are probably universal, but I’m betting the details are different. I’ve often referred to escort work as my perfect job. As far as I can tell, it is. However, I realize this is not true for every escort, so some of my retirement issues may not apply to those who dislike the work. My boyfriend requested that I refer him as bigfatloozer (his discussion board handle – it’s a joke; if any of you are familiar with discussion boards). While I discuss my retirement, I’m also aware that I had extra issues not everyone will have: a move from Texas to California, and the dismantling of one life while trying to start a new life and career from scratch. The Retirement Myth How many of you believe the myth of retirement? The myth goes something like this: an escort retires when she takes down her ad and stops seeing clients. That’s it. The switch goes from “on” to “off.” Bigfatloozer and...

Is The Internet a Boon to Sex Workers?

Pros and Cons of How the Internet Has Changed Prostitution This is a speech I gave at the 2007 Desiree Alliance convention. The Internet has undoubtedly changed the commercial landscape forever. It has given power to the everyday person, connected from home, whether consumer or business owner. Small businesses have flourished with the Internet, often becoming large volume/low overhead companies with few employees. And, as many hand-wringers have noted, the adult industry has flocked to the Internet. But the adult industry is a sprawling, fragmented mess, especially on the Internet. This presentation focuses only on escorts/callgirls/prostitutes – referred to generically as providers. The Internet Itself Can Be a Problem Jumping online isn’t always as easy as it looks. There are real, physical barriers to getting online. One needs a computer, an Internet connection and a way of paying for that connection. Free public services often aren’t the answer because they may block adult sites or may not be secure enough to check personal e-mail. All providers also need to be aware that their IP address will be logged everywhere they go. This can be a problem if it’s traceable to their home address. But assuming that a provider gets online, how has the Internet changed the business? It’s Made Things Safer The Internet has provided a large margin of safety for providers that didn’t easily exist before. Every provider online is autonomous and runs her business exactly as she pleases (for better or worse). Her business is extraordinarily discreet. The general public does not know what she does. Nor do her neighbors (if she doesn’t see clients in her...

Expensive vs High-End — Part 1 of 2

ASPD.net coined the phrase High-Dollar Hottie (HDH) for their public forum for high-end escorts and their clients. Although a lot of people refer to upscale escorts as HDH, is there a difference between expensive or high-end? And, if there is, what is the difference? How does an escort become an HDH? The difference between expensive and high-end is: the $1,000 omlet at Le Parker Meridien in New York City is expensive. A meal at Alain Ducasse in NYC is high-end. A Nevada brothel worker charging $1500/hr is expensive. An independent escort charging $2000 for three or four hours is considered high-end. In the online escort world, the differences fall along these lines: Expensive High-End Appearance Very attractive, often blonde; fashion-model or porn-star type (fashion-model type is very slim, porn-star type often has large breast implants) Attractive; has a more low-key, natural-looking, fresh-faced appeal; not always surgically altered Education Rarely states academic credits, assumed not to have them Almost always college-educated Attracts Clients Because… she’s the ultimate male fantasy individual men like the individual woman presented What She “Offers” Uninhibited sexuality and amazing arm candy; usually does not emphasize conversational skills or intellectual interests Exclusivity; a less one-dimensional focus on his orgasms; wants to create a genuine connection with each client (and perhaps has a more sophisticated sexuality); emphasizes intellect and conversational abilities Appointment Minimums 1-2 hours, usually offers longer packages as well 2 hours, often 3-4+ hours, plus plenty of extended-visit or travel options Reviews Actively encourages reviews Rarely allows reviews Personal Life Does not emphasize the personal Often has a day job and pursues many other interests; happily...

Boundaries

I read an online interview with an escort who proudly declared she had no boundaries with her clients. Oh really? Is she saying she’s perfectly okay giving a blowjob and swallowing? That she’s fine having condomless sex? Does she adore anal sex, especially without condoms? Should I assume she loves having pictures and videos made during her appointments? Or that she’s okay with being mentally or physically abused by clients? Or that she doesn’t mind clients scrawling her name and number on bathroom walls? Does “no boundaries” means she hangs out with clients without expecting compensation? Or that she brings clients into her own home? Introduces them into her social life? Or to her family? And she’s okay with clients becoming obsessive and stalking her? I’m betting some of these things are no-nos for her, which means she has boundaries. (She doesn’t allow reviews, so there is a boundary-line already drawn.) Boundaries have gotten a bad rap from hobbyists. They see it as something inconvenient, getting it the way of their fun. Boundaries are not bad things. They’re simply the line that you choose to draw between what’s acceptable to you and what isn’t. A boundary could be as simple as requiring any client with a sore throat or a cough to cancel with you (and you do the same for them). A boundary could be a little more complex, like requiring a meeting in a public place before meeting privately. Boundaries are what you decide will protect your mental/emotional/physical well-being. Nothing more. Emotionally healthy people are aware of their limits and set boundaries in their personal and professional...

Thinking About Breast Implants?

There was some very good information about breast augmentation in the November issue of Glamour magazine. I’ve scanned the article so that you can read it. This information should not be your only research, but it’s a good place to start. Most of it is boob job basics, but some of the information was very new. There are lots of pictures that may help you visualize what’s going on with your breasts and implants. UPDATE: That article is now online here. Originally published 12/6/06, but due to technical issues is dated several months...

Site Disclaimers and the Law

In case you haven’t heard, less than two weeks ago a federal judge realized that a line had to be drawn between the right of children not to be subjected to pornography and the right of adults to free speech. You can read a summary on CNN.com. Or read the very sensible remarks made by Senior U.S. District Judge Lowell Reed Jr. You can even download his full opinion. And read more details about the case. What does this mean for escorts? Most escort sites have a disclaimer/warning page. They never know if it’s enough, if it’s effective or even necessary. This new ruling is good news. Yes, disclaimers are necessary and effective, at least from the angle of restricting access to minors. But…there’s always a but… Although escort sites probably don’t fall into the category of commercial adult sites, like porn sites, escorts would do well to follow the advice of commercial adult Web masters. If you’re an escort who has a membership/pay section, you really need to pay attention to this ruling because it applies to you. What you need to do If at all possible, register your site with content-filtering associations and services. A good place to start is with the associations listed in the footer of this blog. This new ruling was based on the information that these filtering services are 95% effective at blocking adult content from minors. Further compliance is built-in with a disclaimer/warning page that makes it clear you restrict the access of your site to those of a certain age. Although 18 is a standard “adult” age, most escorts don’t court...