The Internet Escort’s Handbook

Safe, Sane, Successful Escort Work is Possible!

My First-Ever Appointment Part 2 of 2

Read Part 1 in which I make the decision to jump from stripping to giving escort work a try. Arriving My afternoon arrival in DC was off to a bad start. My credit card expired on that day and the rental car company wouldn’t take a cash deposit. Being from Texas and not used to traveling, I was wary of the cost of taxis, but had no choice. I ran into the same problems when checking into the hotel, but they accepted cash. I was unable to get a hold of my friend and had no idea if she was in DC as promised. I wasn’t getting any calls from my Eros ad (I only had a phone number posted, no e-mail was set up) and could not visually confirm if my ad was up since I didn’t have a laptop. I was in panic mode. My friend came through. She was down the hall and around the corner from my room. She was simply very busy. She took a break and welcomed me while she ate dinner. We had no way of checking Eros but she went over screening and phone etiquette with me again. It helped calm me down. My phone rang and it was a DC area code! I was so excited and nervous. I briefly talked to this man and he said he’d call later. I didn’t care; I’d made it through my first call and knew my ad was up. Now, of course, I worried it would be the only call I’d get all night. I had used up what I’d made at the...

Transitioning From Stripper to Escort Part 1 of 2

This is a two-part series inspired by a couple conversations with strippers who want to try escort work. What led me, a stripper, to try escort work? I’ve been interested in all forms of sex work since a very young age. Lacking enough confidence and information to try working as an independent escort, I turned to stripping my last year in college. Stripping is a major confidence boost for some girls; it wasn’t for me. After becoming completely burned out, I had two options: start at the bottom in my chosen field or try escort work – something I was still curious about. Since I had a friend who was an escort and she agreed to give me advice, I went for it. I knew that if I didn’t try it now, I would never have the courage to try it later in life. And besides, if it didn’t work out, only a handful of people would ever know. It would be a lesson learned. So I began researching as much as I could in late 2001. There weren’t really any recent escort books at that time, but I spent a lot of time reading ASPD forums and was horrified. My mentor laughed and told me it was nothing like what was on the boards. She was right. It wasn’t. A Trial Weekend When I finally decided to give it a go, she helped me plan for a weekend trip. We both understood it was a trial-run. She told me to try it in a city far from where I lived. I picked Washington, DC – where she was...

Not Screening is Bad Advice

In discussing the Spitzer scandal, Mistress Matisse advises men seeking paid companionship to seek independents. I think that’s the correct route as well. But then she advises clients to seek independents who don’t screen, those who simply go on their instincts. She should know better. Every time I’ve heard of a girl getting arrested, it’s because she didn’t screen. No doubt girls who screen get arrested as well, but every instance I’ve come across doesn’t include screening. Girls who don’t screen are very easy pickings for police. Why should this concern a client? Girls who have been arrested and are still working are a risk. They could be under surveillance; they could be providing information for a reduced sentence. A client wanting to avoid risk does not want someone who is at high risk for having a history of arrest. And, of course, girls who don’t screen are easy targets for danger. This doesn’t pose much of a risk to clients, but it poses a huge risk to the girls themselves. It isn’t that screening prevents violence — it doesn’t. But it often gives a layer of protection: because the client is less likely to misbehave if he knows she has his personal, identifying information on her desk and someone with truly bad intentions probably isn’t willing to give out any information in the first place. Alternatives to Submitting Screening Info If you’re a client with the time to spare, meeting for coffee first is a great way to get around screening requirements (Matisse gives this tip as well). Of course, be willing to pay her rate for the...

Is The Internet a Boon to Sex Workers?

Pros and Cons of How the Internet Has Changed Prostitution This is a speech I gave at the 2007 Desiree Alliance convention. The Internet has undoubtedly changed the commercial landscape forever. It has given power to the everyday person, connected from home, whether consumer or business owner. Small businesses have flourished with the Internet, often becoming large volume/low overhead companies with few employees. And, as many hand-wringers have noted, the adult industry has flocked to the Internet. But the adult industry is a sprawling, fragmented mess, especially on the Internet. This presentation focuses only on escorts/callgirls/prostitutes – referred to generically as providers. The Internet Itself Can Be a Problem Jumping online isn’t always as easy as it looks. There are real, physical barriers to getting online. One needs a computer, an Internet connection and a way of paying for that connection. Free public services often aren’t the answer because they may block adult sites or may not be secure enough to check personal e-mail. All providers also need to be aware that their IP address will be logged everywhere they go. This can be a problem if it’s traceable to their home address. But assuming that a provider gets online, how has the Internet changed the business? It’s Made Things Safer The Internet has provided a large margin of safety for providers that didn’t easily exist before. Every provider online is autonomous and runs her business exactly as she pleases (for better or worse). Her business is extraordinarily discreet. The general public does not know what she does. Nor do her neighbors (if she doesn’t see clients in her...

Money and Quality

This is a great article about high-end escort work, like the Emperor’s Club agency. However, it really isn’t that different from mid-range escort work, or even from lower price ranges. The final dollar figure and the careers of some of the clients are different; otherwise everything else is a matter of intensity and degree. Sex workers and clients have pretty much the same motivations regardless of the money spent. Sex workers all feel they’re offering a certain set of benefits and services, regardless of the money spent. Sex workers and clients all run the same social/legal/disease risk, regardless of the money spent. I’m not saying all sex workers/clients are the same. Obviously not. But when we’re talking about human interaction – there is little change from one end of the spectrum to the other. Every sex worker – from a street worker up to a very high-end escort who charges thousands – feel they offer their clients attention, affection, entertainment, mental/emotional support and stress relief. The intensity varies, as does personal inclination, but the end result is that every sex worker wants their client to leave with the same good feelings and return to see her again. Money has no role in this essential part of sex work. The amount of money spent seems to be the great titillation in the Spitzer scandal. Money is an aphrodisiac and who needs arousal more than a country on the brink of recession? The more I find out about sex work from a range of sex workers, the more I realize all the issues are essentially the same – it’s a matter...

Effects of Explicit Reviews

In Book #2, I discuss reviews, especially the explicit ones favored by The Erotic Review (TER) and some other review sites. While they can be a boon for business, they can also be used against you as evidence to make a case for arrest (this has happened). If they are used against you as evidence, chances are they’ll be read in court, which could be embarrassing for most girls. Yesterday, a whole new level of possible embarrassment opened up – getting your reviews read on Howard Stern. Apparently Kristen (of the Spitzer scandal) had TER reviews under another name. Howard got that information and read her reviews – the non-public part. He has an audience of over12 million. I’m not saying to not allow reviews, though that is the path of most discretion. I am saying to think about your review choices. There are very explicit review sites and escort-friendly review sites. If you think you might be embarrassed or incriminated by very explicit reviews, then you may want to limit the sites where your reviews appear. Clients are usually willing to honor your politely-worded...

Lessons From Spitzer

Don’t Use Agencies 1. Don’t use agencies. Though he led authorities to the agency (they were not under investigation otherwise), the rest of the time agencies are busted because they are under investigation – which leads to client records. 2. Don’t use agencies. In the current legal climate of the US, agencies are charged with felonies: pandering, money laundering, tax evasion, violating federal trafficking laws. Because they are an agency these charges are easy to make, difficult to successfully fight. 3. Don’t use agencies. Good agencies that care about their employees’ well-being need to screen clients and this information is saved. It’s responsible — but again, it makes it easy to bring felony charges against them and easy to out clients. Though clients are rarely arrested in agency busts, they are often outed. 4. Don’t use agencies. Good agencies often attract college students or girls who are using this as temporary employment while starting a career. An agency bust often leads to the arrest and outing of its employees. If you have a favorite agency girl, encourage her to go independent (indie). It’s more hassle but may save her future career. Independent Escorts Independent escorts are the way to go. Currently, indies can only break local laws – no felonies involved. (There is the matter of crossing state lines for appointments, but I’m not going to go into detail there.) There is an amended trafficking bill (TVPA) that would make even indies into felons, but it hasn’t come up for vote yet. Most indies who are arrested are thrown in jail, do their time/pay their fine and go on...

Expensive vs High-End — Part 1 of 2

ASPD.net coined the phrase High-Dollar Hottie (HDH) for their public forum for high-end escorts and their clients. Although a lot of people refer to upscale escorts as HDH, is there a difference between expensive or high-end? And, if there is, what is the difference? How does an escort become an HDH? The difference between expensive and high-end is: the $1,000 omlet at Le Parker Meridien in New York City is expensive. A meal at Alain Ducasse in NYC is high-end. A Nevada brothel worker charging $1500/hr is expensive. An independent escort charging $2000 for three or four hours is considered high-end. In the online escort world, the differences fall along these lines: Expensive High-End Appearance Very attractive, often blonde; fashion-model or porn-star type (fashion-model type is very slim, porn-star type often has large breast implants) Attractive; has a more low-key, natural-looking, fresh-faced appeal; not always surgically altered Education Rarely states academic credits, assumed not to have them Almost always college-educated Attracts Clients Because… she’s the ultimate male fantasy individual men like the individual woman presented What She “Offers” Uninhibited sexuality and amazing arm candy; usually does not emphasize conversational skills or intellectual interests Exclusivity; a less one-dimensional focus on his orgasms; wants to create a genuine connection with each client (and perhaps has a more sophisticated sexuality); emphasizes intellect and conversational abilities Appointment Minimums 1-2 hours, usually offers longer packages as well 2 hours, often 3-4+ hours, plus plenty of extended-visit or travel options Reviews Actively encourages reviews Rarely allows reviews Personal Life Does not emphasize the personal Often has a day job and pursues many other interests; happily...